Burning Neighbourhood

2 months back...blasts at Jaipur, Rajasthan, India.
Yesterday...blasts at Bangalore, Karnataka, India.
Today...blasts at Ahmedabad, Gujarat, India.

Which is next……………….Your city?

The more I write ‘bout it, the more I will hail again. So I will stop here, right now. I am peeved, extremely.

Just a warning….Next time You move around in the city……move at your own risk, anything can blast, just anything!

As I said before………..we are not the human we should have been. We are the most cruel creature on earth!!!.







Just Look at the brutality. Few major blasts in India in last 5 years....

• March 13, 2003: A bomb attack on a commuter train in Mumbai kills 11 people.


• August 25, 2003: Two almost simultaneous car bombs kill about 60 in Mumbai.


• August 15, 2004: Bomb explodes in Assam, killing 16 people, mostly schoolchildren, and wounding dozens.


• October 29, 2005: Sixty-six people are killed when three blasts rip through markets in New Delhi.


• March 7, 2006: At least 15 people are killed and 60 wounded in three explosions in Varanasi.


• July 11, 2006: More than 180 people were killed in seven bomb explosions at railway stations and on trains in Mumbai, blamed on Islamist militants.


• September 8, 2006: At least 32 people are killed in a series of explosions, including one near a mosque, in Malegaon town, 260 km northeast of Mumbai.


• February 19, 2007: Two bombs explode aboard a train bound from India to Pakistan, burning to death at least 66 passengers, most of them Pakistanis.


• May 18, 2007: A bomb explodes during Friday prayers at a historic mosque in Hyderabad, killing 11 worshippers. Police later shoot dead five people in clashes with hundreds of enraged Muslims who protest against the attack.

• August 25, 2007: Three explosions within minutes at an amusement park and a street-side food stall in Hyderabad kill at least 40 people.


• May 13, 2008: Seven bombs rip through the crowded streets Jaipur, killing at least 63 people in markets and outside Hindu temples.


• July 25, 2008: Seven blasts strike the IT city of Bangalore killing at least one person and injuring at least 15.


• July 26, 2008: Sixteen blasts shocked Ahmedabad killing more than 45 people, injuring hundreds.........and still counting.
  


• September 13, 2008: Blasts in New Delhi! (5 blasts, 25 dead already, how many more?)
  


• November 26, 2008: Terrorists attack in Mumbai at various places/five-star-hotels. 125 dead already, 327+ injured. And counting.
  


• January 1, 2009: Serial blasts in Guwahati, Assam! 5 dead already....what a bad start of the year.
  

• Space left for even more
  

Hail, how much???

As You Travel Through Life, Keep Moving

This is one of the greatly moving poems that I received from one of my friend today. Immediately thought of sharing here. A self explanatory and deeply motivating. Hope you get the message.


As You Travel Through Life, Keep Moving

As you travel through life there are always those times
When decisions just have to be made,
When the choices are hard, and solutions seem scarce,
And the rain seems to soak your parade.

There are some situations where all you can do
Is simply let go and move on,
Gather your courage and choose a direction
That carries you toward a new dawn.

So pack up your troubles and take a step forward -
The process of change can be tough,
But think about all the excitement ahead

There might be adventures you never imagined
Just waiting around the next bend,
And wishes and dreams just about to come true
In ways you can't yet comprehend!

Perhaps you'll find friendships that spring from new things
As you challenge your status quo,
And learn there are so many options in life,

Perhaps you'll go places you never expected
And see things that you've never seen,
Or travel to fabulous, faraway worlds
And wonderful spots in between!

Perhaps you'll find warmth and affection and caring
And somebody special who's there
To help you stay cantered and listen with interest
To stories and feelings you share.

Perhaps you'll find comfort in knowing your friends
Are supportive of all that you do,
And believe that whatever decisions you make,
They'll be the right choices for you.

So keep putting one foot in front of the other,
And taking your life day by day...
There's a brighter tomorrow that's just down the road -
Don't look back! You're not going that way!

Keep Moving, always!!!

The Woman In Your Life

Tomorrow you may get a working woman,
but you should marry with these facts as well.

Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;
Who is earning almost as much as you do;

One, who has dreams and aspirations just as

you have because she is as human as you are;

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your
Sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system
that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements

One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as
much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who
love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family ,name

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you
sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment
and that kitchen

One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook
food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more,
and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a servant, a cook, a mother,
a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning just like you are as
to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that
you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you;

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at
her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing
to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy,
unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;

Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply
because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise

One, who can be late
from work once in a while when deadlines, just like
yours, are to be met;

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important
relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some
and trust her;

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows
in your entire house - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most
importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.

But not many guys understand this......

Please Appreciate "HER".

We are not the same Human that God wished

A 65 year old lady was killed in her house after being raped by a gang of 3 men, 10 houses were set ablaze in a village due to the dispute over a small piece of land, 2 school boys were shot by another student in school, a 3 year old girl was raped by her uncle, a woman was burnt to death by her in-laws after being declared infertile, a person was caught by police who later accepted killing more than 30000 people till date, the old parents knocked the doors of old age house after being thrown out of the home by their only son, more than 1000 farmers committed suicide!

Is any of these sounds Human?

Every morning we wake up, touch the newspaper, open the television many of such news are heard and seen. And it’s not just one day, it happens daily. And now the scene is that it feels a part of our life. We are so well prepared in advance of such news, most of the times we tend to skip reading those….yes, we are habituated. I am sure we have changed.

The more I say the more it would hail inside. At one side we see a handful of people trying to help others live. Look at the NGOs, look at those social workers who are trying their best to nurture lives. There are people who sacrifice their lives to protect us at the country border. These people go out, talk to the needy, help them, play with them just for one real smile. Heavenly. And on the other side, we have those who take away lives on the ground of killing ‘bad’ people and freeing this world of agony. There are groups, which in the name of god, do violence all around the world. They call it ‘struggle’ & ‘wish of god’. We call it ‘terrorism’.

When we look around ourselves, we feel worried. Sometimes we can’t help but laugh on the foolishness all around. Take this, a bus hits a small girl taking away her life. The angry people beat the driver to death, set the bus ablaze……..causing a communal tension, 3 days of complete military marching, lots of fighting, lots of lathi-charges, lots of gun firing. 100s more die. Pathetic!

God knows what the future holds……..b’coz the way ‘we the human' are behaving, we won’t be needing food to eat. We will soon be tearing each other’s body parts like dogs.

I am sure that not even God can bless us Now, b’coz we have disappointed him already. Next time when it thunders in the sky, try to listen his wrath.

Hail!

also read: Meet The Most Cruel Creature On Earth

Approval Addiction Syndrome

Are you obsessed with what do others think about you? Do you have a life that revolves around seeking everyone's approval? Do you feel sad & low if someone disapproves of you? If you answered "yes" to any of those questions then my friend you suffer from what is called the Approval Addiction Syndrome.

If you keep concentrating ‘bout what others think of you and you run here & there to get their approval........then sooner or later, you will be running faster than you can, working harder than you can until you get exhausted. Soon, you will feel you can’t live up to everyone’s expectations. And then you will feel helpless, frustrated & depressed.

More often than not we do things to please others, as we feel it’s human to meet others expectations with you and it’s devilish to betray them. We please one person. Another one comes, we do something else to please him. Another, another, another....phew! The cycle goes on and on and on. And sooner we realize that we are not able to please everyone. And even if we are able to please most of the people, we are not happy with ourselves. Stop! Review yourself before that happens with you. Value your happiness.

There is a saying, “Please all, and you will please none”. And it’s more than true. We can’t please everyone around. And if someone is unhappy ‘bout me, someone doesn’t like me, it’s very much possible that I am doing something right still. It means I am being myself. And then it’s true that not everyone will like that. Be it.

Remember, You need to live life for yourself. Value what pleases you. Yes you have to keep others with you but that doesn’t mean that everyone around you have to be happy with you. Please few. Upset few also. :) There has to be a balance. And if you can’t make that balance between your people, you will have to compensate it with yourself. All will be happy, except you.

These are the few symptoms that may tell you that you are affected too:

• Feeling hurt by others’ thinking about you.
• Habitually comparing yourself to others.
• Trying to be competitive in the most ordinary situations.
• A nagging gumption that we aren’t important enough, or special enough.
• Trying to ‘impress’ important people.
• etc., etc., etc.

How many do you have?

Now the million dollar question............knowing all these why we do so still? The answer is Fear. We fear of being rejected. We fear of being discarded. We fear of being disapproved. We fear of others' cold responses to us if we fail to please them. We need to let go this fear. We need to free our mind from this botheration.

Remember, If we lose people because we couldn’t please them, don't be sad, they were never worth keeping.

I can’t help link to the following book titled “Approval Addiction” by Joyce Meyer. The book is exceptionally well and is worth reading.

So, If you are affected with this syndrome too, get yourself cured now. There is no medicine. All you need is to live for yourself. Be yourself.

Be yourself!!!

Life of an Alarm Clock

Every night one goes to sleep, makes sure to re-set the alarm clock. One has to get up by a definite time. Night passes, sun rises, and the alarm goes...............@#$@#$@#$@#$&*^&*#@!@#$#.

But before it could take its one full breath, a hand (devilish) comes with 1000 eyes searching for it and in the next half second its dead. And this cycle continues every day.


Sounds familiar? I am talking of you only :). Wait wait wait, talking of Us. I am no exception.

That's the life of an alarm clock. Someone (someone because for me it has a life) who works every second throughout the night to make sure that he 'delivers' when demanded....and is killed so sadistically. But still every night we re-set him for the same. And every morning he is killed once again.

What does it reflect? On one hand if we think of an alarm clock, its one dedicated, honest, loyal, selfless creature. Someone who even after being footed, being hit doesn't say anything and keeps on doing what his duty is.

And on the other hand, if we think of Us..........? We use him, day after day, expect it to work without fail and when it works instead of giving it a prize, we hit it hard to silent it.

Strange na? It is not. It's how we are.

We are habituated of using things/people. We want them to work flawlessly without a single failure but when it comes to handling them, when it comes to understanding them, when it comes to rewarding them, we fail we neglect. All we want is that our purpose is served, rest who cares really? There are so many other thoughts that can be mentioned here but deciding to skip it. B’coz I am sure you are mature enough to understand those.

So, next time your alarm clock rings and you have to snooze/kill it, do it but do it with Love.

Though there are few people who manage not to depend on alarm clocks. Yes it’s possible because everyone has a clock inside. Read this interesting post: http://andrewbrunelle.com/?p=167

Sorry - To BE or Not To BE

Million dollar word.
Anything wrong......sorry.
Anything not working......sorry.
Anything working......still sorry.
Anything needed......sorry.
Need another chance......sorry.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
And voila......things settled as desired.

A 5 letter word with 5000cc Horse power.
A 5 letter word with lots of oomph in it.
A 5 letter word with an ability to express the innermost feeling.
A 5 letter word......powerful than anything else, literally.

We all use this word. Every day, every other moment. But do we really mean it EVERY time?

Sometimes it’s used as the shortcut to make up things, some time just for formality, and sometime just to please others.

Sorry literally means……Feeling or expressing regret or sorrow or a sense of loss over something done or undone. Feeling, you read that? You need to feel it. Hope you get the point.

When it’s said with immense sincerity & innermost feeling, it will show in its each letter. It will express the inner self of yours. And I am sure it will solve any misunderstanding/problem.

So, use it only when you mean it. Else it’s just like cheating with your words. Hope, you don’t like cheating!

Cheers!


P.S. Could had written this post very nicely in more than 10000 words, but just keeping it short & unstructured this time.

If you want to be understood………Listen

A small child hiding away from his brother under a mountain rock to give himself some momentary pleasure,
A young but already separated couple taking a tour together and still thinking why they are together again,
A deaf and mute girl with extreme s-e-x-ual desires imputable to others' rejections,
And so many other small things which are so true, so real.
That’s Babel.

Last weekend I saw Babel (Hollywood, 2006), starring Brad Pitt & Cate Blanchett. I saw it not because I am a Brad or Cate fan, but more because of it’s outstanding performance at international film awards ceremonies. And as because I had read in advance that this movie has won 15+ international awards, I had to feel the class too. (B’coz I wanted to convince myself that I understand movies too. Does it happen to you too?) And yes, it was in one of my favorite theater ‘Nandan’, Kolkata, India.

The film looks at relationships, from husband/wife, parent/children, brother/sister and plays around the themes of love in adversity. I will like to mention few incidents from the movie to point out few things about us.

Two some 10-12 years old brothers in the deserts of Morocco quarrelling over the newest .270 caliber rifle which their father bargained. The elder being elder tries it out first but is not as skillful as the younger one. Their decision to check the long distance hitting capabilities of the rifle shows the inner intellect of a young mind, the curiosity, the excitement the young ones have. And just in the course they aim at a tourist bus to see if it reaches it. They are disappointed. We all love to judge things, we all love to judge people.

Some where in US, a maid is nursing the two young kids scared of some past brutal incident. The tenderness the lady shows to the kids makes you feel blessed and you can’t help think of your childhood, putting your head on the lap of your mother. Eyes wet already?

Cate feels something on her neck. It’s bleeding, bleeding heavily. Oh my god. It’s a gun-shot. The bus stops and everyone starts showing the panic. But no one comes out to help. People love showing their empathising-careness but are found castrate when needed to act. Don’t we see such people everywhere around us?

A deaf and mute girl in a modern city of Japan is affectionate to a young but raunchy lad. And as soon as he is aware of the disability he behaves stranger again. We want people to be perfect but we forget the fact that no one is perfect. We all need to look into mirrors daily. The girl’s frustration drives her to give away with her pan-ty and debunk. People dare do things they are not comfortable with, not comfortable at all. But they still do it to tell them self that they are no less then others. And they feel it’s fun until it turns fatal.

The younger brother is spying on her sister changing clothes out of an agreed hole in the wall. The elder brother warns but is pushed back with the reply “What’s your problem? She doesn’t mind it either.” This kind of spying is not uncommon, it happens very often around us. Though it’s not always with this much of mutual consent but it happens, it does. Why? To some it is fun to cross the taboos and enjoy the momentary pleasures. And the same is revealed with that under-the-mountain-rock act.

The tensed couple somehow manages to reach a nearby village but the rest of the group members feel scared of entering, for the people are termed ‘terrorists’. I wonder how it is that one person’s act causes ill-fame to the entire mass. And then comes an old stranger lady’s care ness. The care lets you feel that people have beautiful hearts and are very caring from inside. People can’t see others suffering and few feel it is god’s act to heal other’s pain. Hats off to those honest NGOs.

The maid has to go to attend her son’s marriage but faces difficulty in finding someone to take care of the two kids and hence takes themselves with her. They enter Mexico. The kid asks, “Is it Mexico? I have heard it’s not safe”. Why are we taught these things so early in our childhood? Iraqis are terrorists. Americans are not faithful. Indians are conservatives. And so many other things. While the newly wed couple is cutting the cake, the lady is embracing an old strange in a separate room. Loneliness again. It drives you to do things you are not proud of, not proud at all.

Cate’s neck is stitched with needle to stop the blood from flowing. The pain makes her unmovable and she confesses of peeing in her pants. She wishes to do it again. Brad takes off her inners and makes her pee in a cooking pan, while she is resting on his arms. They embrace, embrace in fear of losing each other. But they hold each other tight. No matter whatever drove you to separate (god forbids) with your loved ones, your heart IS always connected. It will always care for your ex-spouses, ex-husbands, ex-friends even if you don’t let them know it.

Other tourists’ arguments to move asap, angry fight and then the silent departure from the place leaving behind the couple alone. People don’t like to be in the wet shoes for a long time. Everyone prefers being out of other’s troubles.

The mute girl’s act of attracting the police officer by daring naked and thinking it may attract her the pleasure. But it turns frustrating b’coz the officer knows it’s not ethical and resists. She cries, cries loud. The crying on the shoulder limns the inner confession, the guilt we feel after doing any thing wrong. If someone does anything wrong, intentionally or unintentionally, we need to understand his/her inner state at that time. We need to understand what made that happen and then we need to act to counsel that person so that it is not repeated. We need to empathize not discard.

The killing of the elder brother in police encounter drives the younger boy to rip the bloody rifle brutally. His innocence drives him to his confession towards the policemen, ”It was me who shot. My brother is innocent. Save him please. Save him please.” We love your family, we all. And at times we made sacrifices for our families, not because it will make them happy but because it gives happiness to us too that we could do something.

Brad & Cate are taken to a hospital by support (at last) from the local government. She is out of danger and is pictured on TV all over the country describing how she survived the ‘terrorist attack’. What a headline.

It is an old saying that “The grass is always greener on the other side.” I would add, “And when the grasses start dying, the greener sides die first and then all looks the same. Everyone worried, everyone helpless.” You never know what is there in life for you to face, how brutal, how pain-staking. The moment you start feeling that everything is fine, everything is under control something or the other hits you from nowhere. But all you have to do is to have faith in yourself, have courage in yourself to fight it and fight loud. I do, I try to. You?

These are just few incidents that I have scrapped here and there were so many more, with some truly great messages.

I remember after the show ended, I stayed in my seat for 5-10 minutes until I heard someone say, “It’s all over.” I smiled and replied, “It is Never. It goes on and that is life.” No wonder if he stared at me after that.

I wondered what is meant by the title ‘Babel’. I googled and found that it means “A scene of noise and confusion”. True, both were present throughout the movie. And the both are present in everyone’s life; every time, every moment.

The tag line of this movie is “If you want to be understood………Listen”. True We need to learn to listen, not just listen to others but also to our inner-self. We shall ask our selves, What I am doing is right? Is this what I should do? Is that justice? Is that me?

I am sure I will remember this movie for a very long time. Frame by frame.

Lesson learnt: No matter how prepared you are, you should be ready to face. Ready to face life.

All the best!

Platonic Friends. What’s wrong with my friendship?

This post is over 1700 words. So if you are running short of time, feel free to exit. But if you think you can give your 5 minutes, you may enlighten us with your views on this.

Who is your best friend? Ahem! My best friend is Shalini/Rita/Priyanka. I suppose this is the most impromptu answer expected to such a question. Why? B’coz in our society being best pals with someone of opposite gender is yet not too acceptable a thing. So Rita (name changed) pushes her best friend Amit to the back of her mind and declares Shalini as her best pal. Strangely, it is to Amit she turns when she is in dire straits or when she needs a shoulder to weep on. It is with Amit who she celebrates her latest A grades. But still these answers come, it happens very regularly. Do these sound familiar to you too?

Even though we declare ourselves from a rapidly developing society which claims to be having a broad minded thinking, the common view still is that friendship can not exist between a boy and a girl b’coz if your best friend is a girl then she is a ‘girlfriend’ and if you are a girl and your best pal is a boy he is your ‘boyfriend’.

And it is so rooted to our culture that a dialogue on this had become the best dialog of the decade years ago. It was as “Ek ladka aur ladki kabhi dost nahi ho sakte” (A boy and a girl can never be friends) from the movie Maine Pyar Kiya (India, year 1989).

Why it is so? Why can’t we think beyond this sick-minded-ness and regard this healthy and pure relationship. Why can’t we just let two people live their own lives? Or why can’t we mind our own business first?

I know reading this post till this point you would be thinking that it is pity that people have such a narrow mind. We are in the 21st century and should think broad now. But time for a self-check, be honest to yourself and think: how many times you have seen a boy and a girl sitting on bench in a park and have not raised your eye-brows? Even when you don’t know any of them and have no ideas what they are talking about. How many times you have seen a boy and a girl talking in the ground floor and have not passed comments when you go up to your colleagues? “You know what, just when I was coming up, I saw Rita with a boy downstairs. They were quarreling. It seems the boy was her boyfriend”. Don’t you do so too? Be honest, b’coz I don’t want to comment on this now b’coz if I do I will add 1000-2000 more words to this post.

I read a verse from Chanakya few days ago, “There is some self-interest behind every friendship. There is no Friendship without self-interests. This is a bitter truth.”. I think he is true and I think it is not bitter even it is good that there is some self-interest. Why? B’coz if you don’t have an interest in something you will not think of it, you will not work for it, you will not feel for it.

You breathe b’coz your interest is in your life, you eat b’coz your interest is in your health, you work not for the success of your company but b’coz your interest is in your career and your prestige, you invest b’coz your interest is in a secure future, you love b’coz your interest is in removal of loneliness and you cry that is also b’coz your interest is in letting go off the pain. Are these interests wrong?

You meet some one and befriend her. That is also due to some self-interest and it is that you need someone when you are down, you need someone when you want to shout at, you need someone to talk to when there is no one to listen to your funny stories, you need someone to make a call to when you find your are bored and also you need someone at the time when you see others happy with their own companions.

Are these self-interests wrong as per you my friends? If yes, I tell this to ALL my friends, I am wrong too I am totally wrong. B’coz my friendship with you was, is and will be only and only b’coz of my self-interests. What is that self-interest that may vary for one to the other. For someone it is that I want him to get over the illness immediately so the next time I see him I don’t lose more faith in god (b’coz I don’t want to turn an atheist). For someone I want her to see at the top of her career. What purpose that will serve me? One day, it may make me say, “you see that girl, yes the one with the prize in her hands, she is ‘my’ friend. And I am proud that we are friends”. That will give me immense happiness. But hold on...it is scientifically proved that when you are happy, some useful chemicals are produced in your body that is good for your health. Here also self interest. Justified, isn’t it?

But hold on here again, had that been a boy you would have gone on stage to congratulate him but as she is a girl you will sit silently and wait for the ceremony to get over so that you can meet and congratulate her separately. Why? B’coz if you go on the stage to congratulate her, there would be more people talking of this incident then people talking about her getting a prize.

What is the solution and who is responsible for such mentality? I will talk about the latter first b’coz after that the former will not need much talking.

Responsible…the society, the education and the individual him/her-self.

The society…and by society I mean the people of it. It is they who spread rumors, it is they who talk about these on every nook and corner for hours when their family needs them badly. “You know I saw Amit & Rita sitting in a temple. I suspect something is fishy here”. Or, “This boy comes to Rita’s house very regularly, seems like some thing is cooking here”.

The education, b’coz we from our very young age have been taught rather instructed that as a girl, you should play with girls only and vice versa. Young minds already molded at so early stage, how can we expect them to think differently now?

And The individual…that is YOU. Yes you are responsible too. If you are honest and what you are doing is not wrong, why it bothers you what others ‘may’ or do say. Why can’t Rita go ahead and say that yes Amit is her best friend and he is always there when she need him. Why can’t it happen that when people point fingers on your true & platonic relationship you can’t stand tall to defend it with all your force? If you value your friendships you should, else do one thing my friend, free it off.

I know if this post is being read by an Angel, she would say, “Ro, you are a boy and if a boy says that his best friend is a girl then it might not raise problems but I am a girl. If I say this it will be like calling troubles and lots of questions to self. B’coz in our society girls are known to be in Limits and we can’t ignore those raised eyebrows and snide remarks around ourselves”.

Why do we want to bind ourselves by these taboos? Why can’t we go ahead and break the shackles. Why? B’coz I feel we don’t have courage to do so. It takes great courage to raise a problem but it takes one’s heart to go ahead and fight against it.

I personally also have also gone through a lot of these comments & rumors and that too repeatedly but I don’t care until it comes to me directly. I believe that there is no point calming down barking dogs b’coz they are all around me but when one tries to bite me, it would never be able to bite ever again. Many times it comes directly to me too, multiple times BUT it has never been from the same person. Why? I defend it so strongly that the person listening can never raise the question again. Why do I defend? Simple, b’coz I value that friendship. I want that to grow and I am in no mood to let any one outsider come and cast an evil eye on it. People even come and say dirty things b’coz they envy me sometimes for such a close friendship, but ask me if I care. Why should I? Is what I am doing wrong? Is what I am doing not justifiable? When I know that what I am doing is not wrong I should not care what people say of it and I don’t. And the day I feel that what I am going to do is wrong, I will not do it in the first place.

Now the time for the solution. I will not say much on this b’coz I want the readers to leave solution to this as a comment (please do let me know that is it same at your place too or is it only in India?). Hence, I will stay short. For me the solution relates to the most complex thing in the universe, The Human Mind. Our heart is not bad, it understands the feelings of an individual, but our mind has been so polluted from ages that we can’t think beyond these things. What we need is proper guidance, proper counseling and above all proper education; out-house as well as in-house education. And rather than the toddlers it is the time when grown up people need these more. Even though we have co-education schools today the story has not changed much.

We need to make people feel that it is perfectly alright if a boy and a girl is talking over phones, it is perfectly alright if they are meeting regularly, it is perfectly alright if they are counting on each other, it is perfectly alright if they are friends.

As healthy competition is encouraged among all age groups and all genders, so should friendship.

With a hope that our mind, our mentality will change for the betterment of an individual and friendship flourishes around us.

Straight from the heart of a person who be-live-s in friendship.

Hit me, kill me, but do not lie to me.

(Unedited)

If there is anything which is worse than a sin then, as for me personally, it is Lie. I HATE LIES or I better say DISHONESTY/CHEATS and I will continue to hate it as long as I live. And in all the places further when I use the term ‘Lie’ I would essentially mean ‘Dishonesty’.

It is very difficult for me to forgive a person who lies/lied to me. Because for someone who is so emotionally attached to people around him, feelings value. And when feelings are hurt, you cry. If you are beaten physically you would only suffer physical pain, if some comes and cuts your legs/hands off you will be handicapped physically. But when someone hurts your heart, your inner spirit, it is worse. Something that can never be repaired. It is an old saying that once a mirror is broken it can never show the complete image even if it is joined somehow. There will always be a scar. Scar on body can be cured or covered, but scar on heart can only be covered never cured. And I face the fear around me always, be it my colleagues, my contacts, my well wishers, or even my true friends.

In my short life of 7 years, 7 because I believe I came to life only since 1999. It was the time when I realized (though not understood ever) what is life all about. I started knowing people, their out(s) and their in(s). I came to know what is wrong, what is right, what is a crime, what is a sin. I came to know when and how much to value someone’s word. I came to know who should I talk to and who should talk to me. And when all these happened at once, my list of people around me got shorter suddenly. I am sad (but not sorry) that it happened. When I came to know the reality of some of my friends my inner self did not allow me to continue any touch with them. And since then I have been very selective when it comes to making friends. Some people consider it as my shyness but I wish that they read this post before creating judgments on my behavior.

For me friends are not just people around you who you see, smile, wave, part & then forget. They are people who you think of when they are not there with you, people you want to know about, people you care for, people you want to help by any means, people you long to meet, and people you would love to be with in your next life too. Not to mention that those people should have same set of feelings towards you. I know you must be thinking of your many friends right now and trying to figure out how many fit into these standards. Don’t be sad. And that is why my friend list is very small. And rest people come to another list which I call “Contacts”. I would like to reveal here that people have always caught me hanging around on my mail box, over instant messenger or talking over the wireless media continuously. If it is so it is because of those beautiful gifts that I have received from god in the form of friends. And I am proud to call them friends, real friends. I am also proud that I am caught talking to them. And honestly it will continue, as long as I live and as long I have such people with me.

I know it might sound that why from the subject of lies I have diverted towards friendship. It is because when I hear a lie I can’t help think of those people who are honest. My friends (people in the 1st list) don’t lie to me. Not because they are very honest internally (no one can be 100% honest), but god’s grace they try to remain honest to me.

And I am strong enough to say that if I come to know of some one’s dishonesty, there would be a big scar on my friends list and another small one on my heart once more. I feel I am used to this. Why? That is a different story.

This very personal and very close to me post of mine is also read by my such friends and I say them openly, “I expect you to be honest.” I may sound rude but this the way I am. If I treat some one my friend, I think I have the right to expect honesty from them. And I assure that my honesty will remain as it has been till now.

This post is comparatively longer than the rest of the posts here and reason is simple, myself. I want to note down all this here, which I and others can read today or in the days to come.

In our religions, jainism in particular and hinduism is general, we are taught that speaking lies is a sin. I feel proud to be a part of such a community which seeds such values within us from our childhood. Still many people forget them, either due to situation or due to their own will, but those who remember, sooner or later feel the importance of it.

When one lies he/she has to keep a lot of things ready to face. He/she prepares the answers of the probable questions which can be asked. And sooner or later they have to rope in more lies in order to support the former ones. And this vicious circle, continues, continues and continues. And if there remains some sense of maturity, sooner or later he/she realizes the mistake and feels sorry for that. But the sooner, the better. Because time once gone can never be rewind. And all that is left is sorry and frustration.

I have always come to such situations where people have given me a lot of hope through their ‘honestly’ spoken words. Either they show it while describing a sensitive incident which happened or when they give away promises or when they agree to carry on some plans. But how many times they have followed their words and how many times they haven’t? As per my experience, especially since I developed a better sense of understanding the situation and people, I will say 1/10 times. This figure may sound too small to you but to me its something which still makes me happy, happy for the first part of it. At least every ten things I hear or every ten things that are said to me; one of those will be exactly like that, word by word. I know in this world of uncertainty where you don’t know what is going to happen to you in the next moment, its hard to expect even 1/10 to be carried in the manner it was said, leave alone 10/10. But if things are said with the sense of true honesty & true responsibility, it should. It will also help the anger, the anxiety, the frustration and the dejection caused later on to be brought down.

And as per my personal experience and what I have seen around myself, I know how great a loss false words cause. People are forced to do things they don’t want to. People are forced to do things which are not correct. People are forced to behave rudely. Why? Because their confidence, their respect for others and specially their respect for themselves have been broken. I use the word forced because it is something which is the effect of something, something which is caused not selected. And in most of the cases the losses of these effects are caused to you and only you. No one else will suffer. Or even if some one suffers of it, it would be temporary. But you, you will lose yourself for ever. So if people do not lie or make false promises, you would have been escaped.

Some one may argue that when you lie for someone’s benefit it is not a sin rather a good deed, because that will help him/her in some way or the other. But I believe it is only for those people who are weak and not ready or strong enough to face the truth, the fact. And I am not one of those. I believe that it is always better to know the facts, the truth, the bad things and cry rather than being happy and then get hit suddenly later on which may cause death to someone, mentally and sometimes physically too.

I don’t know, neither do I suggest that one should have any contact with those people who don’t mean their words. Because if you do so, you will be alone. And even at times You yourself have to lie (intentionally, unintentionally, forcefully, helplessly, etc)...so you are more alone. Rather it would be better to first find out about some and then believe. “It is always better to judge and act than to act and judge”. And I admit here that I lie too, but I am never dishonest.

Though I have skipped lots of things here either because they are too personal to me or because they are of no importance to you. But whatever I have said here is straight from my heart, one which prefers to be killed than being cheated.

I am different, I think differently. And so is you, he, she. Hence people will have different opinions to this entire post. But their comments are always welcome. I would like to know what do they feel/felt when some one lies/lied to them.

With a hope (still) to find more honest people around me.

Signing off,

Ro

There is one thing which never betrays and that’s your inner self. Live with it and live for it. You will never cry. I do the same. Do you?

P.S. This post is written in a very plain language because I wanted to dot down each and everything. And hence could not put in enough time to write it down in a professional/formal language. You may also feel that the points are not in a proper flow. But I hope I have been able to speak my heart here, honestly.